exodus 23

tonight i sat down to watch magnolia on ifc. i haven't seen that movie since high school, even though i liked it a lot and would have wanted to see it again, even own it. something always kept me from doing so sooner.

but tonight, there it was, on my family's television in connecticut, and i couldn't say no. many parts were clear in my mind, although i had forgotten an entire subplot. i was even able to pick up on some symbolism i missed the first time thanks to five more years of schooling and an intense class on analyzing film and literature. it was more enjoyable this time around.

so why am i writing about this on here? i am not a one-blog kinda gal, this could have had a space reserved elsewhere.

well, there's that scene, where everything stops, and every main character sits and sings to aimee mann's "wise up." and i remember how the first time i saw it, i stopped breathing. i couldn't even place the name of the song, and the lyrics were in a foggy haze as well, but throughout most of the movie tonight, i was in anticipation for that one moment. not only is it an absolutely beautiful song, but it fits that aspect of the movie so well. somehow i knew i'd be moved again.

and i was. maybe it hits too close to home now, maybe everything in that song describes something about where i am personally at this time in my life, maybe it just fits so well with a group of characters that i'm relating to so strongly at that exact moment that it just breaks me apart. even if i don't know the reason, it keeps me at my father's computer listening to "wise up" on repeat in the dark with my sister's headphones over my ears.

i don't know.

it's not

what you thought

when you first began it

you got

what you want

now you can hardly stand it though,

by now you know

it's not going to stop

it's not going to stop

it's not going to stop

'til you wise up

you're sure

there's a cure

and you have finally found it

you think

one drink

will shrink you 'til you're underground

and living down

but it's not going to stop

it's not going to stop

it's not going to stop

'til you wise up

prepare a list of what you need

before you sign away the deed

'cause it's not going to stop

it's not going to stop

it's not going to stop

'til you wise up

no, it's not going to stop

'til you wise up

no, it's not going to stop

so just...give up

/jen/